Wet Attack: The Empire Cums Back

Adult 1999 Windows CDV Interactive

Poor showing from the Empire

This bizarre sounding game is the followup to the equally strange Lula: The Sexy Empire and plays out like some nightmarishly adult version of Elite mixed up with various management elements. Like most adult games, such as Erotica Island, it's pretty poor stuff and is only really worth investigating if you're into obscure and curious games. Taking its inspiration from Star Wars, this one finds the player in search of Lula, the main character from the previous game. This involves traveling the galaxy, exploring planets and gathering clues as to her whereabouts while avoiding run-ins with various nefarious characters which are also roaming about. In gameplay terms, this is a sort of space exploration/management sim, where you travel between planets, delivering cargo for cash, while maintaining a dependable crew. You can upgrade your ship with new weapons and parts, while you can also hire gigolos to keep your all-female crew happy and make extra cash while docked by turning your ship into a brothel. It's all as bizarre as it sounds but unfortunately it's simply not very good. The visuals are pretty poor, lacking in detail and character, giving the game little in the way of eye candy. Worse still is the gameplay, which is tedious and almost entirely lacking in the humor which the makers so obviously were desperate to include. The adult parts of the game are so badly implemented that it's just embarrassing, so as with most such games, this one is only really going to appeal to twelve year old boys and even they are likely to be disappointed as the gameplay is so boring.

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