Dire, dire, dire
Ms. Metaverse deserves a few points for sheer originality and unusualness but unfortunately, these are not qualities which make a game great and it all turns out to be a bit poor. The game is basically a big virtual beauty pageant that was intended to tie in with the developer's gambling website and promote the casino games found there. You take the role of the judge in the pageant and have to sit through some dodgy FMV sequences of various plucky lasses trying to convince you of their charms. You pick out five from an initial pool then continue by judging them in categories such as looks, brains and talent. In between rounds, you get to shoot at the girls for some bizarre unknown reason, while there are also some supremely cringeworthy sequences where the girls dance or perform awkward sketches with the show's tacky host, which are as embarrassing as they sound. There's little else on offer here to be honest and it's clear this was never designed to be a standalone game and was instead little more than a marketing tool. Ms. Metaverse really is bad. It's not completely offensive, as there's not much actual nudity here, so rock dwellers beware. However, what is on offer is just plain awful for the most part. You can expect hideously over the top performances from everyone involved, while the visuals are rather cheap and tawdry as you would expect from such a product. There's little to actually do in terms of gameplay and if you are tempted to pick this up, it won't be long before you're feeling a little silly.